[SATLUG] Sorry in Advance

country country at the-cia.net
Fri May 16 14:53:01 CDT 2003

I got this from a friend, and could not resist....      My appology in 
advance, hahahaha

      For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
      computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo
      (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
      with the auto
      industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
      industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000
      miles to
      the gallon".
      In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
      stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
      all be
      driving cars with the following characteristics:
      1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
      2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have
      to buy a
      new car.
      3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.
      You would
      have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
      windows, shut
      off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
      For some reason you would simply accept this.
      4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would
      cause your
      car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
      have to
      reinstall the engine.
      5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was
      five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on
      only five
      percent of the roads.
      6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would
      all be
      replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
      7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
      8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
      out and
      refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
      handle, turned
      the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
      9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to
      learn how
      to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
      in the
      same manner as the old car.
      10.You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
      Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate
      - their


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